Bittersweet Symphony
by allofmyidolsrdead
Summary: AU The definition of bittersweet: 1. Bitter and sweet at the same time. 2. Producing or expressing a mixture of pain and pleasure. The story is an account of their bittersweet relationship.
1. Chapter 1 Looking Back

Author Note:  
This is my first post on this board. I have written stories on other boards but Spashley is my fav so I figured I would give it a shot. Pairing is mainly Spashley.

The definition of bittersweet:  
1. Bitter and sweet at the same time.  
2. Producing or expressing a mixture of pain and pleasure.

The story is an account of their bittersweet relationship.

I dont own anything.

I have completed this story. No worries IF you end up liking the story about it landing in the graveyard.

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Chapter 1

The limo pulls up to my parent's home. Nothing seems to have changed. I wonder if my mother is home, or out saving the world. My father is at the clinic, (his second home) trying to help troubled youth.

I am taking a sabbatical to get inspired. They say home is where the heart is, so that's where I am at.

I have traveled the world. My documentaries have won every award that could be won in 4 short years since I left. Money was so not an issue. I had money to buy houses, cars, and everything my heart desired. Well almost everything. I had been working non stop and I decided it was time to come home and plant some roots.

The driver brought my bags to my room and I called out for my Mother.

The house was empty. This house was a gift to my parents. I bought it for them complete with pool. The pool I was about to pay a visit to.

I grab a suit and begin to swim. The radio is playing and the song Bittersweet Symphony comes on and I find myself lost in a memory.

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_6 years ago___

_Junior year___

_Another boring Saturday night. I thought that I was so cool. So damn cool.___

_Getting invited to a college party? Cool. Getting hit on by college guys and girls? Cool. Acting without consequence officially for the first time (sneaking drinks from Dad's study doesn't count)? Cool. Nearly falling head over heel's at first sight. Not cool.___

_And I didn't 'nearly' fall either. That's a little white lie, I tell quite a bit. I fell hard.___

_It was so hot that night. I was waiting on Glen, who is a mega popular jock in his first year of college, as he got ready for yet another party. He's my big brother and never tires of pointing out that fact. Another party that I was NOT invited to since I am still a junior in high school.___

_"Gleeeeeeeeen" I moaned again as I rolled around on his bed, covering my head with his pillow. From the sound of it you'd think that I was dying. I was. Dying of boredom. Well back then I thought that I was. I was beyond sheltered. Not only by my parents but by Glen too, though he chose to show his "sheltering" by scowling at me and calling me a dork when ever he could. I still idolized him and he knew it, and I knew he loved his little sister.___

_"I said NO Spencer! Now stop bugging me already and get out of my room!" He didn't mean it though. After our brother Clay was shot at Prom, Glen and I have been inseparable. Hence why he was humoring me as he got ready. The doorbell rang as he slipped into the bathroom again. I swear he takes longer than any girl. My face lit up. It could have been only one person. I was proven correct when Glen stuck his head out of the bathroom and told me to get the door and let Madison in.___

_I ran from the room already planning my begging and pleading in my head. Madison bounced into the house asking if Glen was ready and then asking me why not. I ignored her questions. ___

_"Madison! Tell Glen to let me go to this party with you!" She laughed at me. She flung her arm around my neck as we walked quickly upstairs.___

_"You still trying to get in on our nights huh?" When I pouted she smiled in sympathy. "I'll tell him. I mean, what are you now? 17?"___

_"Couldn't I pass as a college kid?" I sat up in the bed excitedly running to the mirror as she touched up her lip gloss. She studied me for a minute and her eyes lit up then glinted mischievously.___

_"You know what? You Carlin kids are lookers. You are actually really gorgeous Spencer; you just hide it in your wholesome school girl attire." I blushed as she looked pointedly at my chest. "I bet we can have you spruced up in no time." I squealed and hugged her. I was a little intimidated by how gorgeous and curvy Madison was but the excitement of transformation had me beaming.___

_Glen came scowling out of the bathroom and into my bedroom. __  
__"Madison, what are you doing?" Glen ran his hand through Madison's gorgeous golden brown hair. Glen and Madison had been together since we moved from Ohio to LA and are a perfect match.___

_"Spencer's coming with us."___

_"What?! Are you crazy?" Glen took the dress from Madison and threw it on the bed. ___

_"My dad won't let her go anyway. Not to mention mom." ___

_"The only reason they don't let me go is because you don't want me to go." Arms crossed defiantly, I glared at him.___

_"For good reason! These aren't little high school boys Spencer." I stood up and walked over to him but he had a hand in the air. "Spencer this isn't about me not wanting you to have fun-"___

_"That's exactly what this is! Jesus! You're only two years older than me and everyone treats me like a little baby." Madison sat on the bed watching us at a loss.___

_Glen sat down too and sighed. He looked at me then at Madison then back at me and sighed again. "You better stick with me the whole night Spencer and I mean the WHOLE night and you better tell mom and dad, 'cause I so am not." Madison laughed as I practically strangled her in a fierce hug then ran from the bedroom. "NO alcohol either."___

_"Yeah, sure thing, no problemo!" I shouted back.___

_Mom and dad weren't thrilled but they loved the idea of Glen watching out for me the entire night. Glen never came home drunk...or got arrested. For them that was good enough to grant my request.__  
__I however, recalled quite a few nights when he'd call me to tell me to open the back door for him. Madison and I would help him into his bedroom and mom and dad wouldn't be the wiser. I think this gave me some leverage that night, though I'd never bring it up. I was much too grateful.___

_The students at school were a bore. Actually, I just didn't like any of them. I've had my share of compliments and guys asking me out but I just wasn't interested in any of them. That's when I began to listen to Glen's stories. Then when I'd subway into the city to Glen's school sometimes to meet him or Madison for lunch I'd see all those mature students who looked so worldly and...and hot.___

_I knew what I wanted. And it wasn't in my high school.___

_Madison found a little dress that I had at the back of my closet. It was a little smaller than I liked, but she said it fit me perfectly. It was a color I never wore before or ever would have picked out for myself, fire engine red, but it was clingy and thigh high with a scoop neck. It really emphasized my cleavage.___

_"Fucking hot." Madison mumbled as she fixed my makeup and found me some__  
__heels. She told me to quit staring at her shoes and let the world see my ocean blue eyes. I looked in the mirror before we left and saw the face of a stranger. A very attractive stranger. She was right. I looked hot._


	2. Chapter 2 The Party

Chapter 2

A rock song replaced Bittersweet Symphony and I snapped out of the memory. I smiled thinking about that day.  
Madison, I wonder what that crazy girl is up to these days. I need to call her.  
I found myself drifting again.

_The Party___

_I was surprised at how popular Glen was but wasn't at the same time. In high school he moved with the more popular crowd. It seemed that in college he kept with that trend.___

_Like Glen, I had our Mom's all American looks. We both had blonde hair and bright blue eyes and it seemed like most of the guys and gals liked it. Lots of lingering looks from overly happy and touchy students greeted us.___

_It was strange though, I found myself being awkward and doubting if it was such a good idea after all. Glen kept an eye on me and even gave me a drink.___

_"You're gonna get one anyway..." he said with a nudge. I grinned. I WAS going to get one as soon as he turned her back. I took a sip and tried not to spit it out. I watched the other people around me drinking it too so I swallowed it down and took another sip. After five sips it began to taste...drinkable.___

_"Who's the cutie Carlin?" A tall dark haired guy asked. I swallowed and tried not to hide behind Glen. He was model hot. However, something in his eyes made alarms go off in my head.___

_"My little sister, Spencer." I smiled and he smiled back. I felt Glen's arm wrap around my shoulders in a way only a protective brother could. ___

_"Sorry Luke, we gotta go to find Madison." He steered us away from him until we got swallowed up in the crowd.___

_"What's wrong?" I asked.___

_"He's a prick and I hate him. I heard he raped a girl but they have no proof."___

_"What?!" I squeaked only to collide with a tall guy who resembled a NBA basketball player. Was everyone tall at this party?___

_"Boz!" Glen did some weird fist bump thing. I learned this was his party. They began talking excitedly about some game. Someone walked up behind him. I noticed the gorgeous copper curly hair and dark clothes before I realized how breathtaking this girl was. She was gorgeous. I think the right words would be devastatingly beautiful.___

_She lowered her bottle and looked around almost bored then her eyes moved over me then doubled back. An eye brow rose slowly as she swallowed. The music and shouting suddenly seemed to disappear. My focus was solely on this brunette goddess. I watched the way she licked her lips slowly after taking a sip and smirked a little. Just then the guy Glen was talking to, Boz, I think was his name, turned and pulled the dark haired girl forward. Her hair fell a little into her face; the curls slowly swept across her gorgeous honey colored eyes. I wanted to reach out and brisk them away from her intense eyes that I was drowning in. It was only when Glen said something to her that I snapped to attention. ___

_What was the name Glen said?___

_"It's nice to meet you Ashley."_


	3. Chapter 3 The Meeting

The memory of the confused 17 year girl I once was made me chuckle out loud. I was so confused, unsure, I never felt I knew who I was. Who knew that this encounter would answer every question I had about who I was. I was caged inside. She set me free.

_  
__"It's nice to meet you Ashley." Ashley. It fit her somehow. She was petite and thin but yet seemed to beacon charisma. I was maybe an inch taller but she had a perfect body. I could slightly see her abs and again was losing focus. Dark eyes, light brown skin, nice lips. Really nice lips, pouty lips. Kissable lips...___

_I felt something inside of me break away and I had no idea what it was or if I even wanted to stop it. I knew that I should have though. Something about her made a thousand bells go off in my head. Unlike Luke, these bells seemed to be an alert instead of a warning. But when someone alerts you isn't it often to warn you of some danger?___

_She turned back to me. "And who's this?" She asked in a low raspy sexy voice. She didn't shout over the music and I heard every word. Boz was shouting to be heard but her voice came directly to me. I loved her voice. Wait. What was I saying?___

_What was I THINKING? A girl...female...someone with _**_boobs_**_….but it didn't seem to make a difference to my body. I was getting hot just looking at her. I lowered my eyes and hoped that no one noticed. I didn't look up again, not even when Glen introduced me to her.___

_She reached out her hand and I mirrored her. Good thing no flammable drinks were in the immediate vicinity. Her eyes glanced at our joined hands. She felt it too. I didn't want to look up, I kept my eyes down and hoped that she'd let go even as I thought about where I'd like that hand to be, what I'd like it to touch.___

_I felt her fingers on my chin, and then my eyes were on hers again. "A pleasure to meet you Spencer." She smiled that smirking smile again and Glen looked at Boz with a raised eyebrow and frowned at us, but it didn't phase us. Glen placed his arm around my shoulder and Ashley stepped back. Our hands fell apart. Mine slipped around my drink. Hers hung on the side of her jeans, a finger hooked into a loop. Lucky loop. __  
__The absence of her touch felt as if someone had stole the oxygen from the room. ___

_"There's Madison!" Glen shouted out and Madison turned and waved at us.__  
__Ashley watched me still. I glanced at her every few minutes as Boz spoke to her, shouting over the noise. My eyes averted her stare though. Instead I looked at her feet. Covered in sexy looking leather boots. Then dark jeans that fit her body perfectly, a few rips in all the right places and a small tight fitting shirt that allowed her perfect abs peak out. Her jeans hugged her thighs and hips perfectly. Her hips. I wonder if she had a nice...Oh God. This is going too far, I thought.___

_"Listen, there's this guy from my sports medicine class I want you to meet Glen..." they lost me as I watched Ashley's lips as she took another sip of her beer. I couldn't stop looking. She hugged the nozzle and sucked. Pulling the bottle away and slowly licking her lips.___

_My eyes fell to her shirt, she wasn't overly endowed there but they seemed to be the perfect size for her body. Her t-shirt was tight and black. Then her jeans. Back to those jeans and that ass and...wait a minute, I thought...I looked up at her face then back down to her crotch again. My heart beat picked up. Oh my god...I...she...either Ashley is the most beautiful man I've ever met or Ashley is packing.___

_I wasn't as naïve or in the dark about these things. Glen was a big fan of lesbian porn, many a times I stumbled onto his fetish on our computer. He just didn't know that out of curiosity I watched. Just curiosity, I swear. I just never...not in the real world…I was speechless. My mouth must have been hanging open. And I don't know what was on my face but in that crowded room, filled with tipsy, drunk, high, horny college students I felt as if Ashley could have read my every thought and was quite amused at them. She smiled, a cute nose crinkling smile and then a smirk lit up her golden face. ___

_I looked back down at her crotch and saw her shift as if to approach me when Glen suddenly turned me around and we headed quickly toward some stairs. I looked back and stretched my neck to find Ashley still watching me. __  
__I kept looking back but I eventually lost her gaze in the crowd.___

_Glen pulled me into a room where even more people were partying and Madison tugged him over towards some jock. Glen turned to me, "Don't leave okay. Stay in this room!"___

_I nodded my head quickly. I had no intention of leaving that room. I sipped my drink and fended off a few drunken advances with warning that my "boyfriend" would be back any minute. I sipped and watched as Glen began to kiss his way into a corner with Madison and at some point Madison and Glen just disappeared. I got bored and then my bladder began to protest. Looking at the door to the bedroom then back at the spot Madison and Glen were occupying then to the door again I made a decision.___

_I'll only be a second, I reasoned with myself. I gripped my drink and began to make my way to the exit or entrance depending on what side you were on. I was making progress then was face-to-face with someone's chest. I looked up and my eyes widened. ___

_It was Luke.___

_Luke.___

_Oh no this can't be good.___


	4. Chapter 4 What Have I Gotten Myself Into

Chapter 4

_It was Luke.__  
__Luke.__  
__Oh no this can't be good.___

_"Hey, where you running off to honey?" He turned as if to lead me toward the doorway. I had to think fast. I looked around and finally spotted Madison but she was getting a very thorough tonsil examination. No help there. Crap.___

_"Um just running to the bathroom, I'll be right back." I tried to smile sweetly in adoration. I felt like someone was pulling my lips with strings. It must have worked because he nodded his head slowly and removed his arm.___

_"I'll be over there." He pointed somewhere in the corner of the room and I nodded my head excitedly. He backed off and let me go.___

_I turned to the door and practically ran for it this time, squeezing my way through the masses then squeezing through some more until I got to the bathroom. It was empty to my relief, so I did my business then checked myself out in the mirror. I still looked presentable, if a little sweaty. My eyes had a glazed, brightness to them, but I blamed that on the alcohol.___

_The night wasn't what I expected it to be though. I found myself wanting to go home. Badly. I sighed and grabbed my drink and took a sip for courage then opened the door quickly, not bothering to look up, forgetting for a minute how crowded the house was.___

_I promptly ran into a brick wall. Or what felt like a brick wall. I__  
__bounced off of it and fell on my ass with a dull thud, my drink spilling down my chest. I looked up ready to shout at the idiot then felt the words pile up behind my throat. It was Ashley.___

_Her eyes were smiling but her lips didn't get the memo. If I wasn't so enthralled by the darkness of her stare I would have thought that she was angry.___

_Boy was I wrong.___

_"So can you talk or what?" She asked in that phone sex voice. That's what I dubbed it. My lips moved but I had yet to utter a word. My mouth snapped shut and I nodded instead.___

_It was ridiculous the way I was still on the floor with a goddess looming over me, but I just couldn't seem to get my legs and arms to move. She must have been reading my mind because she shook her head a little then bent down with her hands reaching out for me. I reached out to her and was pulled up with enough force to make me tumble into her. Either she was unaware of her own bodily strength or she did it intentionally. I was too self-conscious and shy to think the latter.___

_So tumble I did. She didn't budge, naturally, and so I found my mouth at the top of her t-shirt clad chest. She had a guitar pick necklace that I couldn't resist touching. Her perfume drifted up to me and I closed my eyes. It was a low, exotic scent. Her arms tightened around my waist as my legs turned to rubber.___

_"Oh, whoa..." I mumbled, realizing how drunk I must have looked. The spell seemed to disappear and my eyes opened...they were closed? I looked up and this time was met with a smile, though a sly one.___

_She walked forward forcing me back into the bathroom. My eyes never strayed from hers as my brain screamed for me to get out of there, to not let this strange girl get me in a little bathroom and close the door. I had a feeling that if I needed to fight my way out of there she'd win hands down.___

_"Hey! I need to pee man!" Some guy shouted just as she was about to shut the door with her foot. She shoved me gently inside then turned toward the door.___

_"This bathroom's out of order." She began to close the door but the guy put his foot in the way. I swallowed nervously as she looked from his foot to his face then opened the door and stepped forward menacingly. He stepped back then suddenly stopped and looked around as if for some support. Everyone was too drunk or high to care though.___

_"Look, I just used it..." Ashley stared him down and I would have laughed when his hands rose in surrender if she wasn't scaring me a little too.___

_"There are more bathrooms." Ashley turned and stepped back inside the room then turned toward the retreating guy again and shouted out for him to stop. She was nodding her head towards me and speaking through her teeth, but the guy wasn't getting her not so subtle hint.___

_"Look, I said its cool alright! I'll-"___

_"Shut up," she growled and shoved her hand into her pocket yanking something out. It was a wad of cash. It looked like a lot of money that she jammed into his hand. ___

_"This bathroom is unavailable; make sure anyone who comes knows that." He looked down at his hand then his eyes widened in excitement and he nodded earnestly.___

_She turned back to me and all too soon the door closed on the back of the stranger's head. Then it was just Ashley and me. She stepped forward and I stepped back. She did it again and my thighs touched the counter so I stopped. ___

_What had I gotten myself into?_


	5. Chapter 5 Wait!

Chapter 5

"What do you want?" I asked. She smiled and stepped forward still, as I felt the heat of her body against my own.

"Well that's a silly question." She said. Her hand moved from her side and found the ends of a few strands of my hair. Unlike her, I had blonde hair that I kept in a layered style. It fell midway down my back so I felt the tips of her fingers against the skin there. She moved again and I gasped as the memory of what I thought I saw became a reality.

She was packin'. Her eyes followed the line of my neck as her fingers tugged gently on the hair she was playing with. I watched her eyes as they moved from my neck to my lips, my eyes...then back to my lips.

Just when I thought she'd kiss me she pulled back a little and her eyes followed the line of my dress, dropping slowly from the strap that draped over my shoulder to my breasts.

My breath began to pick up now, as if I were running a mile. She smirked, then I swear the room brightened when a full out smile found her lips then disappeared a moment later. I wish that I knew what she was thinking in that moment. It softened what was obviously a very hard if attractive exterior.

My strap was pulled away. I gasped and moved to pull it back only to have her hand stop me. I pushed against her but she only smiled.

"Don't play hard to get now," she murmured. I felt anger and fear flare up inside of me and shoved at her. She didn't budge. She stepped closer and despite my fear I moaned into the silence.

"I know you want it," she whispered.

"You don't know me. I'm not gay." I hissed at her. She laughed and shook her head. She then pulled the other strap down revealing my strapless bra.

"Let go of me."

"Or else what?" She asked. Her eyes glinted in defiance then softened. It was such a contradiction. I wanted to slap her even as I wanted to pull her closer.

"Why don't you just admit that you want me to fuck you?"

That did it. It was the innocent way that she said it that pissed me off. I raised my knee quickly but not quick enough; she was ready for me and shoved my legs apart. I bit my tongue as the strap on was pressed even more into me. Her mouth was a breath away from the skin of my neck.

"You want me to give it to you don't you?" She asked. I felt lust flare up inside of me. I did, and I hated to admit it to myself. I felt shame because of it. No one was supposed to do this right? Who wants to get fucked in a small bathroom in some strange house? No one should want some strange, exotic woman to take them like that right?

Right?

Her lips touched my neck and the last of my control slipped from my hands. As if it was in my hands from the beginning. In one stroke she took her tongue and lapped up the spilled drink. Her mouth attacked my neck, sucking and pulling at my skin. I groaned loudly as she shifted closer, pulling me up on the sink. Her mouth moved over my neck, down to my breasts, she released one of my hands to pull down the bra. Lips attached themselves to a straining nipple. "Oh God!" I chanted.

I'd never had anyone touch me like that before, with such intensity. Every suck, ever lick was deliberate. She moved to the other nipple and I pulled at her shirt. She chuckled, releasing my nipple with a smacking sound.

She still held my other hand behind her as dark eyes roamed over my face then focused on my lips.

She licked her lips and leaned into me. The first touch of her mouth was hot. Soft. Gentle. She rubbed her mouth over mine then suddenly she was consuming me.

"Mmmmm." I felt her tongue everywhere. It was soft, slick and so, so sensual. I had nothing to measure her kiss against. No one had ever kissed me like she did. So thoroughly. I closed my eyes when I felt her hand on the inside of my thigh.

She suddenly stopped "Beautiful, Spencer you are so beautiful." I blushed and looked down. She lifted my chin up and looked again deep and my eyes.

"I have never wanted to touch someone like I want to touch you. Spencer, do you want me to touch you?"

My emotions were all over the place. God I wanted her to touch me, but my Catholic upbringing was telling me this was wrong. I didn't answer but I didn't need to she made the choice for me. With great intensity her fingers were on me, touching me over the fabric of my underwear.

"Mmmmm, I love girls in silk G-strings." Girls. That brought me to reality. I was about to have sex with a practical stranger in a dirty bathroom in some strange house. She must have had a different girl every night. This was so wrong...

"Wait."


	6. Chapter 6 Taste The Rainbow!

Chapter 6

"Wait."

"No." I pushed at her with my free hand.

"I said wait!" She looked at me and must have seen something in my eyes. She leaned back but didn't move her hips from my own. I opened my mouth about to say God knows what when her hand began to move between my legs again.

"I said...I said...Oh God..." She kissed my chin, and then placed kisses along my jaw. Everything became a jumble of thoughts as the roughness of a moment ago melted into soft kisses.

"If you want me to stop, I will. Do you want me to stop Spencer?" She purred in my ear.

I didn't want her to stop. The hand I used to push her away was pulling her impossibly closer. Her fingers loosened at my wrist. The other fingers made quick work of the g-string. Then they were back, delving into my heat. I'd never been so wet. I heard the wet sound made when she slid her fingers through me. It made me even hotter. My heart beat was racing.

I grabbed at her shirt and began to pull it off. She chuckled again but released my other hand and shrugged out of it. I held her arms, loving the way the muscle beneath the soft skin flexed against my grip. I ran my hands over her shoulders then down her chest. I pressed into her stomach, her amazing abs were hard and flexed beneath my touch. In a race to touch her skin I pulled off her bra.

I looked up at her and pulled her face closer crushing our lips together. The counter bit into the back of my thighs as she began to grind into me. It was such a slow rhythm, but it enough pressure to make me begin to move against her.

"Damn, girl you can kiss." Ashley said against my mouth. She crashed her lips back into mine and began using her obviously skilled tongue to massage mine. I moaned in frustration when I couldn't get her close enough, when the kiss wasn't enough. She shoved up my dress as her other hand unbuckled her belt then her jeans.

I shoved it down, as I reached for her panties, but her hands were already working to adjust the strap that bulged from between her thighs. I watched her panties fall to the ground, and was trying to ease my curiosity about the strap on when she started touching my clit again. It was slow, it was torture.

"Don't..." I wanted to tell her not to tease me. I opened unfocused eyes to watch her push her hair back from her face then quickly grab hold of my face. Her eyes were black.

"Don't what? Don't do this?" She entered me in one smooth stroke. I couldn't breathe as she filled me. A squeak escaped my throat as I bit my lip to keep quiet. It was no use.

She slid out and then in again. I wasn't a virgin, but I wasn't "experienced" either. I knew that sex had never felt like this.

"Ohhhhhh..." She grabbed my thighs, pulled at them and wrapped them around her hips as she moved in slow strokes. My hands moved to grip her back, the muscles there contracted with every movement she made. Every thrust of her hips was felt beneath my fingers.

"You don't want me to do this?" She whispered against my ear as her hand slid down and began to touch my clit. I looked up and stared at the blue tiled wall, her lips were on my neck again, softly running her tongue over bruised skin, nipping then soothing as she went along. My thighs tightened around her and her pace picked up.

"Oh god, oh god..." I chanted as she pounded into me. Her lips found my own again and she pulled my tongue into her mouth. The sound of harsh breathing filled the bathroom. Hips slapping loudly was its echo. I felt each breath against my cheek as I tried to suck her tongue into my mouth. I was going insane; her mouth was fuel to the fire. With each pull of her lips the heat between my legs began to flare up, I began to grip her now.

She felt it because soon she was groaning into my mouth too. I pulled on her bottom lip as she tilted her head to answer back. She ran her tongue over my upper teeth then searched for my tongue again. I ran my hands down her back to grip her ass and I heard a guttural moan.

I grabbed her ass and began to move against her with purpose. I was so

close...so damn close.

My hands slid beneath the leather strap and squeezed her tight ass. Her finger rubbed my clit with purpose and I saw the wave behind my closed eyes building up above me. I knew in my head I should run from it but I knew I needed it. Somehow I needed this.

I began to gasp, my mouth opening despite my need to kiss her. Her hand slapped the mirror behind us loudly as she suddenly leaned into me for support. Her hand braced my shoulder though I didn't need it I was wrapped around her like a snake and moving just like one.

"Ahhh!" I shouted into the room as she groaned loudly. It was like a rainbow burst into a thousand smaller rainbows in my head. The image of those skittles commercials came to me. I smiled as my head dropped back riding the wave of my orgasm. I think I saw the face of God, if it wasn't him it was someone giving me thumbs up with a very satisfied grin on their lips. I imagined Randy, Paula and Simon clapping along with the audience.

I bit down on my lip again as she began to slow her movements, drawing out the last from us both.

"Fffffffuck," she mumbled against my lips. I opened my eyes but hers were still closed. Gasping for air against lips doing the same thing turned the moment into a strangely intimate one. I'd never shared air with someone like that before. All at once her eyes were open and on me. They were dark, but slowly lightening to their normal color. Mahogany.


	7. Chapter 7 What Did I Just Do?

Chapter 7

I blushed when I realized I was still holding her ass. My hands slowly released her. She did the same to me and stepped back a bit. My eyes ran down her body and I felt my body beginning to heat up again. What's wrong with me? I just had mind blowing sex and I want her already. I felt so imbalanced. And she was the reason.

I turned around and lowered my head as I began to adjust my bra. She came up behind me and I closed my eyes. The dildo, still warm from being inside of me rubbed against my ass.

"I..." It was comforting listening to her stutter. The word hung around us; I looked up at the mirror into confused eyes that immediately darkened. It was as if she threw up a curtain. But it was too late. I saw her.

She pulled my legs apart and leaned into me. My eyes widened at what she was about to do.

"No, I can't. I-"

"Shhhh..." she said and entered me again from the back. My muscles tingled immediately from the intrusion. She watched me as I watched her. Her hand pressed into the glass besides my own as she moved inside of me.

Long fingers pressed into my stomach, pushing me into her. It didn't take me long to cum when she began to circle my clit while moving deeply inside me. This time it was quiet; low moans, whispered curses. A gentle fuck. I smirked at the absurdity of it. She stilled in me, breathing harshly behind me. I loved the way she felt pressed up against me. I didn't want her to move. It was so far from making love but I'd never felt so...comfortable with someone before. I felt something burning behind my eyes. I felt I could see this dotted line connecting us. Maybe it was the booze.

If I wasn't watching her I would have missed the kiss she placed on my

neck. If my eyes were closed I would have thought that I'd imagined the way she was looking at me. I looked up into her face, took in the glistening skin, swollen lips that mirrored my own, the arm holding my stomach, how the light brown skin contrasted with my own. God she looked hot in that moment. I felt like a shrub standing in front of a rose.

She moved back, I closed my eyes as the dildo slid from me again. A shiver ran down my spine and this time she stepped away completely. I began to fix my bra again then felt her hand against my skin, and then her hands were on my dress pulling it up. I turned around and she pulled it up completely. Soft hands grazed my thighs as she pulled up my g-string and tugged down my dress.

I blushed. She smirked and shook her head. I found myself wishing that I could read minds again.

"Your brother's looking for you like crazy right now." She said matter-of-factly. She studied at me as if waiting for my reply. Somehow I felt as if my response was important to her. As if it would tell her HER next move. I smiled and watched as she began to pull up her jeans, she clasped them then began to do the same to her belt but I touched her hands. She looked at me; I felt her stare as I buckled them for her. I didn't dare look up. I looked around for her bra and found it hanging on the shower rod. I pulled it down then gave it to her. She tugged it on then her shirt.

She shook her head again as she looked at me for a moment. "I think I know you better than you think Spencer." She said quietly then turned and opened the door. The sound of the party rushed at us. She stepped back and motioned for me to leave the bathroom first.

As we left the bathroom the guy was still there; when she tapped him on the shoulder he turned and smirked at us both knowingly. I blushed as reality came knocking. And boy was she loud.

What in the hell did I just do?

When his eyes completed their prowl of my body they fell on Ashley whose scowl must have said enough. He nodded his head then walked away. I wanted to leave that party then and there. But now the only difference was that I wanted to leave with Ashley. She turned to me and reached over to put her arm around my shoulder, no doubt to lead me outside. I saw understanding flutter across her face.

"I can take you home." She said as she watched my face. I nodded my head. I was about to verbally take her up on the offer when the whirlwind that is my brother swept down on us. Well on me really, Ashley stepped back.

"Where in the FUCK were you?!" He grasped my shoulders. "I've been looking for you for over an hour!" My eyes widened. I had no idea I spent that much time with Ashley. I looked over my shoulder, just to make sure that she was still there but she was gone. A search of the immediate area was fruitless. Just like that...gone. I didn't know if I was sad or relieved.

"I...I was in the bathroom. I got really sick."

"I told you to stay in the room Spencer! You had me and Madison so worried."

Just then Madison came squeezing through the crowd and looked relieved to see me. I felt bad for making them worry but felt even worse for not even saying good bye to Ashley. Ashley...saying goodbye to Ashley. I smirked even as I thought of how ludicrous it sounded. You get fucked in a bathroom, then think you're connected Spencer? It all raced back to me again...what I allowed to happen.

Then I realized that we didn't even exchange numbers. Hell there wasn't a conversation. Suddenly I got scared. Really scared. I let a strange girl fuck me with a dildo in a bathroom. I was an idiot of the highest degree. God, what a slutty thing to do. I was so ashamed of myself. Suddenly the reality that Ashley was planning to fuck some girl… hell, any girl, made me feel even worse. I was a used whore.

I think, no I am going to throw up.

"I don't feel so good Glen..." I mumbled as I rubbed my forehead.

"Come on, Spencer's not feeling up to this now. Madison, we're leaving."

"Okay, I'll grab our coats then." Madison hollered then turned to make her way back through the crowd.

"I need to tell Boz..." my eyes widened at having to see Ashley again.

"Can we just leave, I think I'm gonna be sick if I stay any longer...what was in that drink you gave me?" I lied and he bought it.

"Lightweight." His arms hugged me close as we pushed our way out of the house. We stood outside waiting on Madison who looked remarkably sober.

"Let's hit the road ladies!" He shouted and we walked down the street to find our car. "Some party huh?" Madison asked as she looked over at me. Then she stepped closer and leaned into my neck. She looked up at me and laughed out loud. I looked down and my eyes bugged. My chest was filled with hickeys. I had no idea how Madison saw it and Glen didn't. Suddenly I was very happy that he was so tipsy. And that it was dark.

I looked back at the house, still lit on every floor and in every window. My eyes moved to the porch area where a dark figure sat. I swear the person was watching us.

Ashley.

The tip of a cigarette burned red then lifted toward the sky a bit. I bit my lip then turned around. I have to put this night behind me, I thought.

Glen hugged me close; he got really affectionate when drunk. "Okay sis? Had fun?" I smiled and nodded my head.

A certain face filled my head, "Yeah, yeah I did."

"Oh I'm sure," Madison said then began to laugh again. She placed her finger over her lips and nodded her head.

Good, I thought. That's just how I wanted it.


	8. Chapter 8 Regrets

Chapter 8

After that weekend my mind was consumed with Ashley. I wished she would call me or I could call her. I asked Glen about her and he told me that Boz said she was "bad news". Glen made it clear he didn't encourage a "friendship" with someone like Ashley. Excruciating weeks had passed when I overheard Glen complaining that his away game would force him to miss another party Boz was hosting. This was my opportunity. I could go to the party and find Ashley.

The past weeks had been life altering for me.

I went through denial, I had been drinking. Alcohol makes you do crazy things.

I went through acceptance, "Hi, my name is Spencer and I like vagina."

I went back to denial. Did I mention I was drinking?

I went through intense guilt. I visited Father O'Connor for confession eight times in two weeks.

I went through satisfaction. I felt alive. Hell, I bought every color of silk G strings I could find.

I went through sickness. I went on four different dates with four different hot church boys to cure me. It appears Ashley addiction is terminal.

Finally, I stopped the emotional rollercoaster and came to two conclusions: one I couldn't get Ashley out of my mind and two I didn't want to.

-------

I couldn't believe I was brave enough to show up at a college party by myself. Immediately I spotted that creep Luke. I couldn't let anyone recognize me, or my brother would go ape shit. I decided to be low key and head up the stairs to get an aerial view of the party goers.

The party was packed. I had fended off drunken guys and girls yet was still unable to find the object of my affection. I told myself one more song and I was throwing in the towel and heading home. Maybe it just wasn't meant to be. .

The song was bumping and I was still scanning and searching. Suddenly I saw the golden ringlets attached to my goddess. She was moving through the masses towards the steps. I headed towards the stairs so that I could "run" into her. She hadn't spotted me and I suddenly became nervous.

What if she didn't remember me? What if she laughs at me? Spencer your in idiot, what would a college girl want with you? She probably regrets the whole thing, or worse thinks your some easy slut.

My insecurities were getting the best of me, when I remembered how the past few weeks she had plagued my mind. A surge of boldness ran through me and I plunged forward. I had rehearsed what I would say. However I wasn't clear whether I should casually bump into her, walk up and kiss her, or walk up confidently and ask to speak to her. I lost my self in my train of thoughts when I realized she was only a few feet from me now. She hadn't noticed me yet and she was almost in clear view.

I was pushing through to get to her and I was just about to call out for her when I realized the girl who had the starring role in all of my day dreams was leading a very beautiful girl by the hand up the stairs.

I didn't know if I should let this trip be a waste and not try and talk to her or if I should let her be, but that decision was made for me when Ashley and her companion disappeared behind a closed door.

Like the loser that I am, I waited for about 15 minutes for her to reappear, when she didn't, I ran as fast as I could down the stairs and to my car.

What was I thinking? I was so disgusted with myself. How could I have been so naïve? Why did I let that happen to me?

I drove home and cried myself to sleep. I was such a fool.


End file.
